Re: Becoming my mother/Wendy

[Wenwolf <wenwolf@xxxxxxx>]

Ray:
We have a lot in common! Your family sounds a lot like mine, only
reverse father (talkative and argumentative) with Mother (stopped
talking). I too was shy and quiet until I became a teacher (hard for
anyone to imagine now) but often participated in lively "debates" with
my father, sister and brothers.

The UCLA instructor did have a valid point - lowering your expectations
is one way to avoid disappointment. The other way, as you point out, is
to keep fighting. Believe me, I am a fighter. The difference is the
perspective on HOW to fight. I believe the point will be won through
providing education without playing the blame game, which only shuts
down effective communication.

Wendy

-----Original Message-----
From: Parkinson's Information Exchange Network
[mailto:PARKINSN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of rayilynlee
Sent: Sunday, April 24, 2005 12:22 PM
To: PARKINSN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: Becoming my mother/Wendy

Wendy

My mother always had to fill the void if no one talked.  In fact in my
family, you had to butt in to
be heard, a very rude practice. My dad really fixed her, in their later
years he refused to talk at all.

As a young person I was very shy and afraid to speak.  Teaching changed
all
that. However, I may be "becoming my mother" filling those voids.
"nobody
says anything" sounds just like her.  Her father, the one with PD,used
to
argue just for the sake of argument and  he and I used to do it all the
time.  He made me so mad but I enjoyed it and did it anyway.

The question of nature and nurture is an interesting one.

Back in the 70's or 80's there was a psychologist or psychiatrist who
was
run out of town at UCLA/Westwood for teaching a course where his theory
or
plan for better coping with life was lowering one's expectations.  He
taught
that if you expected less you wouldn't be so disappointed.

Although I believe he had a valid point, I think we do live in a culture
and
time of  "a revolution of rising expectations".  It's just not
politically
correct to be negative no matter what, of this I am positive.  Kind of
like
that Monty Python movie where the knight keeps fighting even though all
his
limbs are cut off.

Ray
----- Original Message -----
From: "Wenwolf" <wenwolf@xxxxxxx>
To: <PARKINSN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 10:39 AM
Subject: Re: a few more ideas


> Ray:
> That's something no one can accuse either of us of, eh? :)
> I think that letting people know what is on your mind is so much
better
> than holding it in until you have a meltdown.
>
> Wendy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> ...  Most people just don't say
>> anything
>> and their senses of humor are pretty lame.
>> Ray
>
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