Re: father

[Edward Kleinmeyer <ekleinmeyer@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Lennea, And some of us think we have it rough!!!! If I may suggest maybe
there is someone with a lot of understanding who could come stay with your
Father even for half a day and someone else take Mom out of there at the
same time. I know this is only a temporary thing but Mom needs a break from
Dad and Dad sure could use a softer care giver,even if for a little while.
I'm no expert on anything but it seems as though you are getting beat up
emotionally also. My best wishes go out to you. Shirley
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-----Original Message-----
From: Linnea M Proverbs <s0215844@xxxxxxxxxx>
To: PARKINSN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <PARKINSN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Saturday, March 04, 2000 8:32 PM
Subject: father


>This is pretty personal stuff and I don't know if I should be sharing
>this, but I figure you guys could help more than anyone else...
>
>My father has late-stage Parkinson's, at least I assume it is. He has
>dementia now and does a lot of things "normal" people wouldn't do. He has
>shook my mom, he has tried to pee on practically everything, along with
>hallucinations and more normal things with Parkinson's, like his muscles
>tensing on him where he can't walk and he has trouble forming what he
>wants to say into sentences. the problem is, I don't think my mom
>understands what the dementia is doing to him, and yells at him
>constantly, or at least she doesn't want to understand. i have tried
>explaining to her many times about how things are not really in his
>control, but I can't get through. She just says it is just so frustrating
>and puts on the poor me act, when it is my father who has Parkinson's! It
>hurts to see them like this, and I left the other day because I couldn't
>take the yeling any more. My mom told my dad tonight that it would be his
>fault if I left, when she is the one yelling! I told him in front of her
>it wasn't because of him...we have tried to get them to counseling, but my
>mom insists she doesn't need to go. I have quit activities at school to go
>to Parkinson's meetings with them, and she makes up excuses every week for
>that,too. I just don't know what to do, what can help make this better. i
>don't know what else to do and I can't stand being here-I don't sleep at
>all here because she is up yelling at him for everything he does, yelling
>at him when his legs freeze up and he can't move that "(he) isn't
>trying" We just really need any advice/support you can give us right
>now...