Re: doubting Thomas

["Fleming, Jennifer" <Jennifer_Fleming@xxxxxx>]

Margie said "In my experience, one can actually mourn the appearance of each
significant new symptom, too."

This is very true.  Especially during the first few years.  My dad has had
PD now for 16 yrs.  Lately, it has just been the opposite for me.  I can
remember, maybe just over a year ago, thinking dad has never had a freezing
episode and that I just couldn't imagine it happening.  Now all of a sudden,
he has been having them all the time.  The weird thing is it just snuck up
on me and I didn't really notice it until now that I've joined this group
and been thinking about how bad he has recently been getting. I guess after
caring for someone with a slowly progressive disease for so long, you tend
to try not to notice each progression.  Even after so long I still want to
not think about it.  I'm not in denial, but something like it.

Just thoughts, Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: Dick Swindler []
Sent: Wednesday, July 12, 2000 12:29 PM
To: PARKINSN@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: doubting Thomas


Alf -

You've received a whole lot of excellent replies to your question.  It must
be one that strikes a chord with lots of group members.  I agree that your
wife probably just needs time to adjust to the diagnosis.  You have constant
"internal" reminders that it's real, judging by the symptoms you've noted.
Those symptoms probably aren't all that obvious to an observer, so your wife
can more easily continue to deny the symptoms than you can.  I liked the
idea
of reminding her that you are NOT that old, and that you shouldn't be
experiencing all of the symptoms as a result of aging.  If all else fails,
the "You must be getting old, dear," comment about HER complaints might get
her attention!  <grin>

I have one question for you:  is your wife employed outside the home, or are
you the only breadwinner in the family?  I'd think if you were the only wage
earner, your wife might be more frightened than if she knew she could
support
the family if need be.  It's a scary thing to suddenly find one's imagined
future, and future security, snatched away.  That definitely requires
adjustment time, and as someone else said, time for mourning once the
diagnosis is accepted.  In my experience, one can actually mourn the
appearance of each significant new symptom, too.

I'm glad you've joined the list, and as you've seen from the responses to
your question, this is the place to come to find the kind of understanding
and support you won't find anyplace else.

Margie Swindler, cg for Dick, 55/18