Non-PD:People tell their Insurance company the funniest things :)

[John Cottingham <jcott@xxxxxxxxx>]

We need a break in the action, I hope these lighten your spirits.


The following are actual statements found on insurance
forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details of
an accident in the fewest words possible:

Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a
tree I don't have.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I
put my head through it.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of
its intentions.

I collided with a stationary car going the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of
times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way
home.  As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the
wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared
in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I
was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.  To avoid
hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other
vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and
vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing
my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other
side of the curb when I struck him.

The telephone pole was approaching.  I was attempting to
swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.  I was
thrown from the car as it left the road.  I was later found
in the ditch by some stray cows.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a
small car with a big mouth.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran
over him.

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John Cottingham