musing on moms, babies, and baby pictures

[janet paterson <janet313@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

musing
on abandonment
on guilt
on hurt
on substitutes
on projections

my mother abandoned me by disappearing into cd
i could see her and touch her
but she was not there
i hated her for it
she was guilty of a crime
and i was guilty of a crime for hating her for it
i became the ultra-sensitive ultra-caring ultra-responsive opposite
in spite and in self-righteous example
till i tasted some of her experience and pain
when i melted in forgiveness
of her and of me
and of us
all

joshua's innocence and sweetness is in all of us
still and always
unassailable




grannie jannie
in gratitude
and grins

janet paterson
53 now / 44 dx cd / 43 onset cd / 41 dx pd / 37 onset pd
tel: 613 256 8340 url: ";
email: janet313@xxxxxxxxxxx smail: POBox 171 Almonte Ontario K0A 1A0 Canada