Need advice

[CORINNE BOWMAKER <zencorinne@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hello all,
      I generally lurk on the list and get so much helpful information.  My
Mom, 74 years old, has Parkinson's and is living with my Dad, 76, who also
has his own health issues (coronary artery disease)and is slowing down.  He
is the primary caregiver.  I live only a few blocks away, have a medical
background and can help in many ways, but I'm not with her 24/7 like he is.
They live in a wonderful big old house that she just does not want to leave.
 She is so attached to it. It's getting harder for Dad to keep up with the
upkeep of the house the way that he wants to. She doesn't want to even
discuss moving, though my Dad would like to move to a retirement community
with assisted living potential for Mom.  She is resistant and fearful of
these places.  They visited a few together several years ago.  The drawbacks
to her are less independence and less personal space, which she wants alot
of.  She got very depressed, almost grieving, when they were looking at
these places, thinking that Dad was going to sign them up and she'd be
moving.  Actually at that time he was just fact-finding, looking around and
advance planning in his usual Type A way.
       My Dad spoke to me today and said he is getting more worried about
her.  She has a mild dementia and cannot keep in her mind things like dates,
appointments and most anything to do with numbers.  She gets confused about
plans at times.  But at the same time, she can hold a deep philosophical
discussion for hours.  Her mind is fine there.  But my Dad is seeing some
worrisome things.  She's getting more frail and weak - needs more help now
with opening jars, etc.  She had left the electric burner on the stove "on"
a few times by mistake.  Her eyesight's not too great either right now, so
he painted a bright orange line on the "OFF" position so she could see it
easier.  He said she doesn't remember what the line is for.  Things like
that.  He's getting afraid to leave her for extended times, wouldn't leave
her overnight at this point and worries what would happen if he cannot
function or dies.  He doesn't want my brother and I having to make these
decisions for the two of them.  IF Dad dies, I'd step in somehow, despite my
grueling schedule, maybe even moving back home with her.
        Any thoughts or advice?  This is causing some tension between the
two of them and I'm not sure how to help.
        My Mom is on Sinemet and Comtan.  What are the other meds out there
for the dementia of Parkinson's and what is your experience?
        Also I know there are websites with assistive devices for people
with Parkinson's.  Could you give the URLs to any of these
webpages?  I'm most worried about her falling.  Does anyone know where to
get those alert buttons that you can wear around your neck to call for help
if you're alone?  I used to see them on TV but haven't for awhile.
        My Dad doesn't have a computer at home, so he comes to my apartment
every so often to use it.  I'm going to get him into the CARE list, because
he needs to be able to talk with people who are in his situation.  I think
it will help him alot.  I am so grateful for these two lists!
_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at

----------------------------------------------------------------------
To sign-off Parkinsn send a message to: mailto:listserv@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the body of the message put: signoff parkinsn