Humor Non-PD ( I hope)

[Mary Sheehan <MPShee@xxxxxxx>]

<< A few things you DON'T want to hear during major surgery...

1.  Better save that.  We'll need it for the autopsy.
2.  Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.
3.  Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
4.  Bobo!  Come back with that!  Bad dog!
5.  Wait a minute - if this is his spleen, then what's that?
6.  Hand me that...uh....that...uh...thingie.
7.  Oops!  Has anyone ever survived 500 ml. of this stuff before?
8.  Damn, there go the lights again!
9.  Kneebones connected to the thighbone, thigh bone's connected to the...
um...
10. Everybody stand back!  I lost my contact lens.
11. What's this doing here?
12. Thatr's cool!  Now see if you can make his leg twitch.
13. I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
14. Anyone see where I left the scalpel?
15. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
16. Don't worry, I think it's sharp enough.
17. Sterile, schmerile! >>

I can think of a couple more...
18. Boy!  What a party we had last night!  I never drank so much in my life!
19. What difference does it make if I graduated last in my class at med
school?
20. The doctor says I'm in the early stages of Alzheimer's.  By the way, which
leg was I supposed to amputate?

Any additions?
Mary