Time to laugh!! (Unless you're married, I guess....)

[Hans van der Genugten <genugten@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Enough of the serious stuff, time to have a laugh!!!!!!


   M a r r i a g e   h u m o r

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married
the wrong man."

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted."
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said: "I've found a
man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me,
sympathy?"

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than
to let her keep him.

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Sixty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished!

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"  And the father replied, "I don't know yet son, I'm still paying."

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Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and then it was too late."

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A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire."

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The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you
never get to prove it.

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go
out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

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Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as
both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house.
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

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Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"

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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two
girlfriends.

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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your
laundry done free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is
to forget it once.

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your
parachute.

>> =========================