Fw: urgent help needed (humor)

[Sharon Starr <fsstarr@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

-----Original Message-----
From: Bill Sturdevant <Bill_Sturdevant@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: Fsstarr@xxxxxxxxxxxx <Fsstarr@xxxxxxxxxxxx>; ed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<ed@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>; gyolland@xxxxxxx <gyolland@xxxxxxx>
Date: Monday, November 23, 1998 2:47 PM
Subject: urgent help needed


>please dig deep
>
>Received: from jnu-exchange.envircon.state.ak.us
> ([146.63.40.2])
> by smtptest; Mon, 23 Nov 1998 12:10:42 -0900
>Received: by envircon.state.ak.us with Internet Mail Service (5.5.2232.9)
> id <XH14215W>; Mon, 23 Nov 1998 12:05:31 -0900
>Message-ID: <A17B2A582AFFD111AE0500805F0D8A28296401@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>From: "Sturdevant, Dave" <DSturdev@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>To: "'Johnson, Scott'" <scottj@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "'Sturdevant, Bill'"
> <Bill_Sturdevant@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>Subject: FW: urgent help needed
>Date: Mon, 23 Nov 1998 12:05:30 -0900
>X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.5.2232.9)
>
>
>With the Christmas season approaching, please look into your
>heart to
>help those in need.
>
>Hundreds of National Basketball Association basketball players in
>our
>very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure
>salary
>level (Atrocious!)  And, as if that weren't bad enough, they will
>be
>deprived of pay for several weeks-possibly a whole year-as a
>result of
>the current lock-out situation.  But now, you can help!  For only
>
>$20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost
>of a
>large screen projection TV) you can help a basketball player
>remain
>economically viable during his time of need.  This contribution
>by no
>means solves the problem, as it barely covers the yearly league
>minimum,
>...but it's a start!  Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of
>money to
>you, but to a basketball player it could mean the difference
>between a
>vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise.  For
>you,
>seven hundred dollars is nothing more than two months rent or
>mortgage
>payments.  But to a basketball player, $700 will almost replace
>his
>daily salary.  Your commitment of less than $700 a day will
>enable a
>player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the
>year-old
>Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
>
>HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
>Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the
>player
>you sponsor.  Detailed information about his stocks, bonds,
>401(k), real
>estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your
>home.
>You'll also get information on how he plans to invest the $5
>million
>lump sum he will receive upon retirement.  Plus upon signing up
>for this
>program, you will receive a photo of the player (unsigned-for a
>signed
>photo, please include an additional $50.00).  Put the photo on
>your
>refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
>
>HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
>Your basketball player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND
>who
>just wants to help in a time of need.  Although the player won't
>know
>your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via
>a
>special operator just in case additional funds are needed for
>unexpected
>expenses.
>
>YES, I WANT TO HELP!
>I would like to sponsor a striking NBA basketball player.  My
>preference
>is checked below:
>[ ] Starter
>[ ] Reserve
>[ ] Star        (Higher cost)
>[ ] Superstar   (Much higher cost)
>[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost
>of a
>specific team (Cheerleaders not included.))
>[ ] I'll sponsor a player most in need. Please select one for me.
>
>Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for a
>reserve
>player or starter for the duration of the strike.  Please send me
>a
>picture of the player I have sponsored, along with a team logo
>and my
>very own NBA Players Association badge to wear proudly on my
>lapel.
>Your Name:        _______________________ Telephone Number:
> _______________________ Account Number:
>_______________________
> Exp.Date:_______ [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [
>]
> Discover Signature:        _______________________ Mail
>completed form
> to NBA Players Association or call 1-900-2MUCH now to enroll by
>phone.
>
>Note: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have
>sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not
>limited
>to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Keep in
>mind
>that the basketball player you have sponsored will be much too
>busy
>enjoying his free time, thanks to your generous donations.
>Contributions are not tax-deductible.
>
>
>
>