Lawyer laughter

[Michael and Laura Rogers <mouse@xxxxxxx>]

I found this in a Dear Abby column in a newspaper my husband brought home
with him from his travels.  Thought I would take the heat off the engineers
for awhile...  :)
Laurie
mouse@xxxxxxx


Courtroom Gaffes Provide Chance to Laugh at Lawyers

quote: These are questions (taken from the official U.S. court records)
lawyers have put to people on the stand.


Q:  Is that the same nose you broke as a child?

                        ******


Q:  What happened then?
A:  He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q:  Did he kill you?

                        ******


Q:  Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

                        ******


Q:  Were you alone or by yourself?

                        ******


Q:  How long have you been a French Canadian?

                        ******


Q:  Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

                        ******


Q:  I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A:  That's me.
Q:  Were you present when that picture was taken?

                        ******


Q:  Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

                        ******


Q:  Now Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?

                        ******


Q:  Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A:  I'll be three months on November 8th.
Q:  Apparently then, the date of the conception was August 8th?
A:  Yes.
Q:  What were you doing at that time?

                        ******


Q:  Mr. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A:  I used to be.
Q:  How many times have you committed suicide?

                        ******


Q:  So you were gone until you returned?

                        ******


Q:  She had three children right?
A:  Yes.
Q:  How many were boys?
A:  None.
Q:  Were there girls?

                        ******


Q:  You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but
can     you describe it?

                        ******


Q:  You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And these stairs, did they go up also?

                        ******


Q:  Have you lived in this town all of your life?
A:  Not yet.

                        ******


Q:  Do you recall approximately the time you examined the body of Mr.
Edington at     the Rose Chapel?
A:  It was in the evening.  The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q:  And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?