"WOMAN" : A Chemical Analysis

[MichelMarg@xxxxxxx]

To my friends (I don;t think I have any foes):

As a former Research Analytical Chemist, I was particularly pleased to get
this information from my good friends Mark & Conne R., and I am just as
desirous of sharing it, FYI.   Enjoy!

Michel
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>"WOMAN" : A Chemical Analysis
>
> Element:            Woman
> Symbol:                     Wo
> Discoverer:   Adam
> Atomic mass:  Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40 - 200kg
> Occurrence:   Copious quantities in all urban areas
>
>Physical properties:
>
>    1.  Surface usually covered in painted film
>    2.  Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
>    3.  Melts if given special treatment
>    4.  Bitter if incorrectly used
>    5  .Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore
>    6.  Yields to pressure applied at correct points
>
>Chemical properties:
>
>    1.  Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
>    2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
>    3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
reason
>    4.  Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation
in alcohol
>    5.  Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
>
>Common uses:
>
>    1.  Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
>    2.  Can be a great aid to relaxation
>    3.  Very effective cleaning agent
>
>Tests:
>
>    1.  Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
>    2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
>
>Potential hazards:
>
>    1.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
>    2.  Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations
>       as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other
>
>
>WARNING:
>
>PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL,
>AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE
>