HUMOR: PD-magazine??

[David Boots <bootst3k@xxxxxxxxx>]

A preview of the Parkinsons Community's magazine, "DEMENTIA", with the
newest "beefcake" centerfold, PDmate of the Month for October, 1995: David
Boots of Santa Rosa, California.

(Since this message is coming to you in a typed format, you are
unfortunately unable to appreciate David's almost illegible micrographia. A
picture of Mr. Boots is also unavailable due to his not being able to sit
still long enough for our photographer)

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Date of birth:
05-05-58

Age:
37 years old

Physical stats:
6'-4", 190 lbs (and dropping) , dark hair, mustache

Years diagnosed:
(correctly) 5 years

Medicinal Intake:
Sinemet 25/100 (5-6x), Eldepryl (2x), Sinemet CR 1x...(or sometimes 2x..if
the mood is right)

Turn-ons:
Sinemet/Eldepryl first thing in the  AM, Sinemet CR, new neurologists, a
good night's sleep, being able to play music for any length of time,
articles about a possible cure for PD, YOP support groups, PD-newsgroup
mail dealing with gut-level feelings, people who can see past my symptoms
to the "me" trapped in this body, positive feedback about pallidotomy
surgery

Turn-offs:
Tremor, dyskinesia, bradykinesia. drooling, zippers, buttons, keys,
child-proof containers, prices of PD-meds, handwriting (all), stress,
conversations about "how nice it is to have a caregiver", hearing about
people who have little or no side-effects from Sinemet, SPAMmers, having my
picture taken the last few years

Words to live by:
"Life's too short to worry about ...........(supply current frustrating
life-situation)" - A.J. Boots (Dad)
"I always said I wanted to be somebody, I just wish I'd been more specific"
- Lily Tomlin
---------------------------------------------

Preview of articles in October issue of "DEMENTIA":

"Whole Lotta Shaking Going On": A candid look at the role PD plays in
today's music scene

"Hooked On Sinemet": A step-by-step instruction on how to let one medicine
affect your entire life

"PD-Envy": Why professional boxers must sustain years of injury before they
can even start to display what comes to us so naturally.

"12-step program for handwriting": How to rid yourself of this habit and
learn new ways to pay bills and/or communicate with friends and family

"Restless Legs and Sleepless Nights": How one inventive PDer combined an
exercise bike, mattress, and reading light to be able to power his own
reading light with his nocturnal motions

"New Colors for Sinemet": A shocking expose' of how the drug industry is
following the M&M candy company's lead by polling Sinemet users on the
introduction of new and vibrant colors for this drab-colored medicine.

"I Thought He Was Dead": Lead singer for the Doors, Jim Morrison, returns
from the dead to hawk South Carolina real-estate on the
Internet...PD-newsgroup visibly shaken

"Fun With Hallucinations": How lava-lamps and 60's music can make those
darn hallucinations a nostalgic experience for some

SUBSCRIBE TODAY.............